Thursday, March 11, 2010

Words that will stick with me forever

Last week Wednesday we had our 1st official OB appt. Ever since we made the appt about 4 weeks before, we were so excited to hear Baby's heartbeat and see how much baby had grown over the last few weeks. We got into the room and the doctor used the doppler to see if we could hear. Baby was measuring at 10 weeks(which was a week behind), so she said it could be a little early yet to hear. So she said we will do an ultrasound instead. We went across the hall and did an ultrasound and we saw baby, but it was not a good enough picture. So she sent me down to the Hospital so that they could do an internal u/s(Sorry TMI) and when we saw baby I could tell that there was no flicker on the monitor like I could see in my other u/s a few weeks before. The tech waited a few more minutes and then we heard the words, " I'm so sorry, there is no heartbeat." We were devastated. The tech left the room and we just held each other sobbing.

"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and told him/her about You, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold him/her on Your lap and tell him/her about me?"

This quote has been so comforting to me. As much as I would have loved to carry this baby, I love thinking that right now Baby Roelofs and his cousin Brenham are sitting on Grandpa and Grandma Westrate's laps!!

Please keep us in your prayers!